5 Important Things You Need to Remember When Setting Personal Goals

I’ve been setting a lot of my own personal goals over the past few weeks. Spending a lot of time trying to narrow down what I want to achieve and why. If I know what I want and why I want it, it is much easier to work out what tasks I need to do to get there. It’s a constant battle for me, in a sense. Having goals motivates me. But if I have too many goals or they are too big, I’m likely to feel overwhelmed.

Disclosure: If you purchase anything from links in this post or any other, I may receive some kind of affiliate commission. However, I only ever mention products I love and would recommend whether I was being compensated or not.

Personal goals are important for personal growth and personal development. They help us work out what we like, what we don’t, who we are, and what our life purpose is. Most of all, achieving goals and reaching goals gives us confidence that we can use in everything else we do. So, here are a few personal goals ideas you need to remember. Click through for goal setting tips, goal setting motivation, goals inspiration, life goals ideas and tips on how to accomplish goals

Most people have work or business related goals. Nine times out of ten these goals are targets that other people have decided you need to hit to be successful. But, people often neglect their personal growth needs.

If you ask people what their personal goals are, you’ll be met with darting eyes and even a little forehead sweat as they search for something good to say.

As we get older, the fear creeps in. Fear of failure and fear of judgement. The more we give into these fears, the more prominent they are. When this happens, we get caught up in fear of screwing up. Soon every good idea and thing we want to do get pushed aside and replaced by busyness. We tell ourselves we don’t have time for anything other than work and everyday life. This, my friends, is our most significant mistake.

Personal goals are important for personal growth. They help us work out what we like, what we don’t, who we are, and what our life purpose is. Most of all, achieving personal goals gives us confidence that we can use in everything else we do. So, here are a few things you need to remember.

What to remember when setting personal Goals

Believe:

You are capable! If an idea of something you might like to do pops into your head, the chances are you are capable of doing it.

If you’re not a scientist, the idea of wanting to solve a vast scientific problem is very unlikely to enter your head. So, if a random goal pops up for you, don’t dismiss it. Your brain gave it to you for a reason.

Personal goals are important for personal growth and personal development. They help us work out what we like, what we don’t, who we are, and what our life purpose is. Most of all, achieving goals and reaching goals gives us confidence that we can use in everything else we do. So, here are a few personal goals ideas you need to remember. Click through for goal setting tips, goal setting motivation, goals inspiration, life goals ideas and tips on how to accomplish goals

Do not fear failure:

You cannot fail when it comes to personal goals. Yes, things might go wrong, you might go off track, or you might discover you cannot achieve a specific goal right now, but this is not failing. All that happens if things don’t go quite to plan is that you gain knowledge. You learn all the lessons you need to try again or change the plan.

Believe me, if you asked me to name a successful person who had achieved 100% of their goals, I could not do it.

Do YOU - focus on personal growth:

Don’t confine yourself to what you think you “should” do. When we use the word ‘should’ it tends to mean the idea of how you ought to be spending your time has come from someone else.

Get rid of the shoulds and start focusing on what you want.

Goals don’t need to be BIG:

If a person were to think that all goals had to be huge and life-changing, they’d be less likely to achieve their goals. Sure, they might achieve awesome small things every day. But if little things do not count as goals, that person will not experience the satisfaction of setting intentions. Most importantly, they miss out on being able to say, ‘I have achieved today’.

If we do not have goals, all the great things we achieve are whitewashed and under-celebrated.

Celebrate:

Most people only celebrate the big things in life. They get excited for 24-48 hours and then it wears off, and life goes back to normal.

Imagine feeling that “celebration excitement” every single day! Now, I’m not talking daily champagne celebrations here: that wouldn’t be productive. I’m talking about a fist pump, a high five, a cheer, a little happy dance, or whatever you may do. Doing this every time you achieve the smallest thing, helps the confidence start to flow. This is a huge bonus when it comes to personal growth

Learn to celebrate the little things, and the positivity and bigger things will follow.

Disclosure: If you purchase anything from links in this post or any other, I may receive some kind of affiliate commission. However, I only ever mention products I love and would recommend whether I was being compensated or not.

Self-Care Routines Are Not Selfish or Weak

It is so common for people to feel guilty about taking time out for themselves and carving out a self-care routine. They either don’t feel like they deserve it or, worse, they think it makes them look weak. Is this you? I do it too, sometimes. But I have realised that self-care routines are not selfish or weak, they are sensible.

 Taking care of yourself is by no means selfish or something to feel guilty about. Having a self care routine is important for self worth, creating a better self, self happiness, and learning to love yourself. In fact, loving yourself is part of self care 101. Click through for self care tips, ideas for self care, self help tips, self care essentials and self care activities

I was chatting with a friend a few days ago, asking how her life was going. She has a remarkably crazy life at the moment: three kids, a new business, and a husband who doesn’t pick up his socks! We got about ten minutes into the conversation before I had to stop her!

Woah, Woah, Woah! Where’s the self-care routine?

My friend had gone through everything her family had been up to and what that required of her. And she was about to get lost in details of her to-do list for her business. But, she was yet to mention herself, how she was, or what she was doing for herself. So, of course, I asked her.

What are you doing for you?

In response to this, she started listing her to-dos again. As I explained to my friend: you can take care of your to-do list all you want, but it doesn’t mean you’re taking care of yourself.

This idea perplexes many people, including my friend. Which caused me to ask when the last time she had stopped and taken time out for her. When did she last establish a self-care routine and stick to it? It shocked me when she said she never did in case it made her look selfish or weak, and as if she couldn’t cope.

 Taking care of yourself is by no means selfish or something to feel guilty about. Having a self care routine is important for self worth, creating a better self, self happiness, and learning to love yourself. In fact, loving yourself is part of self care 101. Click through for self care tips, ideas for self care, self help tips, self care essentials and self care activities

Looking after yourself is not a sign of weakness. It is a fundamental aspect of staying healthy, emotionally and physically. If you do not practise self-care, you lessen what you can offer other people. This is the case at work and in your personal life.

For example, I spend a great deal of time supporting, advising and motivating others. I love it; it is what I want to do. But, if I never took the time to look after myself, I’d get ill and crabby! In fact, I can tell when I haven’t been looking after myself when I get irritated by insignificant things.

Creating a self-care routine is, unfortunately for some, not something you can add to your to-do list. You cannot tick it off when you’ve taken the time to read one chapter of a book or had a bath. It makes the most difference when you do something small every day.

Remember what I say: little stuff adds up to big stuff.

Simple Things to Add to Your Self-Care Routine

As I say, it is so easy to let self-care slip down the priority list. With the demands of a job, family, and friends, there’s not a lot of time or energy to devote to yourself. Before you know it, you’re stressed, exhausted, and maybe even sick.

If this sounds like you, it is definitely time to take back control and schedule your self-care routine. Remember, this is not selfish, it is sensible!

 Taking care of yourself is by no means selfish or something to feel guilty about. Having a self care routine is important for self worth, creating a better self, self happiness, and learning to love yourself. In fact, loving yourself is part of self care 101. Click through for self care tips, ideas for self care, self help tips, self care essentials and self care activities

The good news is that self-care doesn’t need to involve expensive holidays, massages or yoga retreats (although they do sound pretty good). A self-care routine be can simple, easy, and straightforward. The best self-care is the constant repetition of small acts of self-love and kindness. Doing little things every day is easy and practical. 

Here are some simple self-care suggestions to get you started

  • Switch everything off (smartphone, tablet, computer, TV) just for an hour, and enjoy some uninterrupted silence.
  • Stand up and stretch your arms above your head. Wriggle your fingers and toes. Shrug your shoulders up to your ears, and then drop them down. Do a few head circles, nod and shake your head gently.
  • Breathe gently and deeply, in and out, three times. Smile.
    Put on your favourite song and get up and dance.
    Take the dog for a walk. If you don’t have a dog, borrow a friend’s dog and enjoy watching them live in the moment.
  • Buy yourself a healthy treat. Choose the ripest peach, the most luscious looking mango, the most fragrant strawberries.
  • Sit under a tree and feel the quiet.
  • Have a self-date and go to a movie or museum.
  • Get some positivity. Ask three friends what they love about you.
  • Have a nap. A twenty-minute nap or zone out can make a massive difference to your energy levels.
  • Give yourself a night at home. Have a bath and eat dinner on the sofa in your jammies.
  • Have an early night and take that new novel to bed and read for a while before getting a good night’s sleep.
  • Listen to a meditation on your smartphone or tablet. There are lots of apps with thousands of guided meditations for everything from relaxation to weight loss.
  • Treat yourself to your favourite childhood food.
  • Take a friend to the park and go cloud-watching. Lie on your back, relax, and look at the sky.
  • Declutter your social media. Mute or delete people who drag you down with negative energy.
  • Take one day every week where you do something for you, whether it’s a hobby, sport, bookshop browsing, or staying in bed reading.

Do something every day that nourishes your mind, body, and soul, and you’ll find self-care is not so hard after all. 

Further reading for self-care routines:

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Disclosure: If you purchase anything from links in this post or any other, I may receive some kind of affiliate commission. However, I only ever mention products I love and would recommend whether I was being compensated or not.

Tell Your Story Well and Immediately Unlock Your Greatest Asset

You tell your story in everything you do or say - whether you think you are, or want to, you are. You are the best storyteller out there. BUT do you tell your story in the right way? It is up to you what you show the world. It is up to you how you portray yourself. I recommend doing it with confidence and a full blown positive attitude.

Disclosure: If you purchase anything from links in this post or any other, I may receive some kind of affiliate commission. However, I only ever mention products I love and would recommend whether I was being compensated or not.

The story of my life is whatever I decide to make it. The same goes for your story. write your own story so it radiates positivity, positive vibes and spread positive energy. The key to a happier life is the ability to focus on the positive and becoming more positive. Click through for positive motivation, positive ideas, how to write your story, tell your story inspirations and telling your story ideas

I meet a lot of different people in my life, and I like to focus on what these people tell me about themselves. More specifically, I focus on HOW they tell me. You see, over the years I’ve come to realise that it is how you tell your story that affects the direction your life will continue to go in.

If you talk about the day ahead in a negative way, the chances are it'll be a miserable day. It's your story.

I used to work with someone who, whenever anyone asked how she was, would smile the biggest smile and say, “I’m great thanks, how are you?” It didn’t matter if she was having the worst day or if she’d got off a ten-hour flight. She always smiled and was always great. I quite liked it, even though I didn’t quite understand it. I started to do the same from time to time, and it felt positive.

A few years later I heard something that made me realise exactly why my friend did what she did and it made me think. The way you tell your story changes everything.

How to Tell Your Story

I was out shopping for stationery (surprise!), and the guy in front of me was also in a wheelchair (we don’t usually stick together you know). The guy went to the till and the checkout lady smiled and asked him how he was. His response astounded me: “I would be better if I wasn’t in this bloody thing [the wheelchair]”.

Now, don’t get me wrong, being a wheelchair user isn’t sunshine and roses. But like anything, it is what you make it.

The story of my life is whatever I decide to make it. The same goes for your story. write your own story so it radiates positivity, positive vibes and spread positive energy. The key to a happier life is the ability to focus on the positive and becoming more positive. Click through for positive motivation, positive ideas, how to write your story, tell your story inspirations and telling your story ideas

The checkout lady was asking him how he was and his response told pretty much his entire story without him thinking about it.

He told her that he was a negative person who didn’t smile and only focused on one thing and could not look beyond it. He also told her that he wasn’t interested in others as he didn’t ask her how she was. 

This may or may not be true; maybe he was just having a bad day. It doesn’t matter though, what matters is that was how he told his story.

So, what happened? Upon hearing his response, the checkout girl stopped smiling and didn’t speak again until she gave him his total cost.

Even then, I could tell she didn’t want to talk to this guy because his “story” had repelled her.

The 30-Days to Confidence Guided Journal

Join Fran on a 30-day journey of self-exploration. Use the combined power of daily actions and guided journaling to discover what has been holding you back and how you can confidently move forward.

Does the way you tell your story make that much difference?

I was served by the same checkout lady. As I am also a wheelchair user, she was uneasy as she didn’t want the same experience again. I could tell this just by her body language and lack of smile. So I smiled and asked her how she was, which made her visibly relax. I had, in a few words, engaged her and told her that I was a warm, friendly person.

I’m not saying you need to go around lying to people. But you need to be aware of what you are telling people about yourself. You meet people every day, and you never know where these meetings could take you. Sometimes, people are looking for someone with your story.

I once met a guy in a coffee shop who was looking for a speaker. We got chatting, and he liked my story. If I had started the conversation like the guy in the shop did, I would have missed out on a pretty nice speaking gig!

Do you see how important it is to tell your story well?

Disclosure: If you purchase anything from links in this post or any other, I may receive some kind of affiliate commission. However, I only ever mention products I love and would recommend whether I was being compensated or not.

The 30-Days to Confidence Guided Journal

Join Fran on a 30-day journey of self-exploration. Use the combined power of daily actions and guided journaling to discover what has been holding you back and how you can confidently move forward.

7 Super Simple Ways to Beat Procrastination

Ahh, how to beat procrastination? I meant to write this post weeks ago! Over the years, I have been the queen of procrastination. I do love a shiny object or two. But I'm getting to the point now where I'm able to focus and just get stuff done! I wanted to share what I've learned with you wonderful people!

Disclosure: If you purchase anything from links in this post or any other, I may receive some kind of affiliate commission. However, I only ever mention products I love and would recommend whether I was being compensated or not.

distractions are everywhere meaning that the temptation to procrastinate goes through the roof. But procrastination does not lead to success, opportunity or productivity and focus. So we need to beat procrastination. Click through for procrastination tips, overcoming procrastination ideas, stop procrastinating motivation, stop procrastinating tips, self motivation tips, productivity ideas, how to be productive and productivity tips

We have all found ourselves falling into the procrastination trap at some time or other. I’ll look at 1000 gifs then I’ll… I’ll check Twitter… OoO shiny… Facebook… Game… Doodling… Crap, I need to write a presentation… Funny cat videos! You get the idea, right?!

The problem occurs when procrastination becomes our "go to" mode of life. Nothing gets done, and we become disorganised. Which is fine, if you enjoy moseying along doing whatcha do. But, I warn you, if it is success you’re after (whatever success means to you), procrastination doesn’t tend to be the key. Accomplishing your goals requires slightly more focus. We need to beat procrastination, or at least limit it, to get the job done.

Success is rarely achieved out of the blue. It comes via an orderly, purposeful course of deciding. Deciding what you want to do with your life, what you will do after you get there, and what steps you need to be taking.

What people don’t realise is that procrastination is often a self-defeating behaviour. It develops, in part, to low self-esteem and apprehension of disappointment. It’s kinda like saying, “if I avoid it and don’t do it, I cannot fail”.

I don’t know you or what distracts you (if anything), so it would be hard to come up with solid tips that you absolutely must do. But I thought I’d share a few things that have helped me.

How to beat procrastination

Break stuff down:

Many small jobs done over time are much more controllable that one big task with no end in sight. Got a big goal? Hack it up into small tasks, with each task taking no more than 25 minutes. You'll be so much more motivated when you start being able to tick things off super fast. This is by far my number one way to beat procrastination!

Tidy up:

Exercise self-discipline in your environment as well as your behaviours. You'll will accomplish your goals in a far shorter time-period if your workspace is tidy. After all, tidy home (or office) tidy mind.

distractions are everywhere meaning that the temptation to procrastinate goes through the roof. But procrastination does not lead to success, opportunity or productivity and focus. So we need to beat procrastination. Click through for procrastination tips, overcoming procrastination ideas, stop procrastinating motivation, stop procrastinating tips, self motivation tips, productivity ideas, how to be productive and productivity tips

Be stubborn:

You will get much further, a lot faster. By refusing to let others (or yourself) change the path you have selected. Overcoming procrastination and staying motivated is not easy. But it is the way to success and happiness. 

What if someone doesn’t like your goal? Well, it’s not their goal, so *shrug* move on…

One thing for a set period:

It will amaze you how much you can get done if you focus on one thing at a time. One task, instead of cluttering your mind with multiple tasks. I recently read Pomodoro Technique by Staffan Noteberg, and his method has helped me pull my socks up! 25 minutes on a task (or group of micro-tasks) and a then a 5-minute break. Try it. But it's essential you are strict with it.

Rewards:

No matter what is happening around you, keep your mind focused. Do this by reminding yourself of the reward you'll receive by reaching your goals. In fact, reward yourself all the time. Every time you tick a job off, bonus! Five minutes on Twitter or reading a book is so much better when you’ve earned it.

Review daily:

Review your habits and method of thinking on a daily basis. If your actions do not guide you in the course of accomplishing your goals, then you must change them. Note: this does not mean failure, this means trying something new.

Take note of the time you waste:

If all else fails, do this! Start looking at the clock when you’re procrastinating. Start noticing how much time you are spending on useless activities! It’ll shock you into gear… At least that's what it did for me! Refusing to waste as much time as you are will beat procrastination to the ground, for sure!

Disclosure: If you purchase anything from links in this post or any other, I may receive some kind of affiliate commission. However, I only ever mention products I love and would recommend whether I was being compensated or not.

6 Amazingly Simple Ways to Spread Positive Energy

In reality, I imagine everyone would like to be full of positive energy. But life is full of ups and downs. In fact, life is a bit like driving across the country. You get hills, flat parts, bumps, potholes, animals in the road, and unexpected corner. That’s life! But, let's see how we can spread positive energy and feel great.

Disclosure: If you purchase anything from links in this post or any other, I may receive some kind of affiliate commission. However, I only ever mention products I love and would recommend whether I was being compensated or not.

 The world is full of negative news stories, so it is becoming increasingly difficult to radiate positivity, positive vibes and spread positive energy. But the key to a happier life is the ability to focus on the positive and becoming more positive. Click through for positive motivation, positive ideas, how to be more positive, positive things to do and positive thoughts inspiration. Afterall, positive mind positive life!

Anyone is capable of having a positive attitude when things are going well, if you’re on a flat road you know well.

But the truth is, what matters more is how you do something when things are tough going. As if you’re driving down the dimly lit, narrow, winding road that never seems to bloody end! It is how you handle the tricky roads that determine your strength.

The ability to be optimistic in difficult times makes people feel invincible (to a point). If you add up your blessings and spread positive energy around you, your strides will feel much more stable and focused.

6 ways to spread positive energy and feel fantastic:

Make your first thought of your day a positive one:

Your first thought of the day will dictate how the next 12-18 hours will pan out. Often, our go-to position is one of negativity (i.e. “gosh today is going to be horrible”). But, with this, we are actually asking your brain to search all day for things that could go wrong. It would surprise you how far saying something like “today will be a good day” will take you. Try it!

 The world is full of negative news stories, so it is becoming increasingly difficult to radiate positivity, positive vibes and spread positive energy. But the key to a happier life is the ability to focus on the positive and becoming more positive. Click through for positive motivation, positive ideas, how to be more positive, positive things to do and positive thoughts inspiration. Afterall, positive mind positive life!

Choose Enthusiasm:

Think enthusiastically. Talk excitedly. Be passionate by acting passionately. Your thinking and your actions set up your level of awesomeness for you.

Put a bounce in your step. Always offer a smile. A smile indicates you are glad to be alive and happy to be with the other person. A real smile radiates interest, positivity, and happiness.

Be the Bearer of Good News:

It is rare to make a friend or achieve a goal by always sharing bad news. But, good news promotes goodwill. It will also spread positive energy and joy. Always aim to make the people you talk to feel better than they did before they met you.

Visualise:

All peak performers take a lot of time visualising their future success. Before you try to do anything, close your eyes and envision yourself doing it well and with ease. Visualise yourself doing everything you need to do to get a job done with great success. Imagine the feeling of that success.

Talk to Yourself:

No, you won’t look crazy, I promise! What did you say to yourself today? Did you moan and groan about everyone and every? What we think about is 100% reflected in our feelings and actions. If all we think about is negative thoughts, our feelings and actions will be negative. Ask yourself if specific thoughts are helping you. If not, ask yourself how you can change those thoughts.

 The world is full of negative news stories, so it is becoming increasingly difficult to radiate positivity, positive vibes and spread positive energy. But the key to a happier life is the ability to focus on the positive and becoming more positive. Click through for positive motivation, positive ideas, how to be more positive, positive things to do and positive thoughts inspiration. Afterall, positive mind positive life!

Take time to understand:

Bring encouragement, optimism, and hope to every person you meet. Help others feel comfortable, spread happiness and love. Take time to learn about the wishes and desires of others. Be understanding, caring, accepting, and forgiving. Do not judge others because they do things differently to you. Instead, take an interest, and you might learn something new.  Having a glow of positive energy around you will help you achieve your goals and make you feel much more content with life in general.

Disclosure: If you purchase anything from links in this post or any other, I may receive some kind of affiliate commission. However, I only ever mention products I love and would recommend whether I was being compensated or not.

13 Ways to Deal With the Fear of Failure

Unless you’re fortunate, the first time you try anything new, the chances of you failing are incredibly high. Yet, you would not believe the number of people I have spoken to or worked with who have given up on everything just because they are terrified it might not work out. Yes, for these people, the fear of failure takes over!

Disclosure: If you purchase anything from links in this post or any other, I may receive some kind of affiliate commission. However, I only ever mention products I love and would recommend whether I was being compensated or not.

Two of our greatest fears are the fear of success and the fear of failure. Both of these will stop us from achieving goals and successful goal achievement. living in fear is no fun and it won't get you anywhere so it is important that you don't let fear stop you. Take charge of the fear of the unknown and start overcoming fear to gain freedom from fear. Click through for how to overcome fear, goal motivation and how to accomplish goals

Giving up because of a fear of failure is pretty much a form of self-sabotage. As is, believe it or not, fear of success, which is genuinely a real thing (trust me - a story for another day).

I was reading The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey yesterday, and I started thinking about my mum. I mentioned my mum’s crazy method’s in another recent post. But I think the great thing about my mum is that she allowed me to fail. Even maths! I come from a family of mathematicians: the fact that I suck at maths is crazy. 

Maths aside, it was okay if I screwed up from time to time and, I believe, this indeed helped me build a mindset based on ‘this is terrifying, I may screw this up, but let’s give it a go anyway’.

Whatever success means to you, to get there you’ll need to grit your teeth, take some deep breaths, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway (incidentally the title of another excellent book that I highly recommend). Therefore, I wanted to share a few of my tips for dealing with the fear of failure. Notice that I did not use the word “overcome”!

Dealing with the fear of failure

Embrace the Fear:

Picture this: you’re sat on a pool deck, getting ready to jump in for a race, you’re wearing your country’s flag. There's a camera filming you for live TV; if you look up you’ll see 18,000 people looking down at you, aaaaand you’re shoulder feels like it’s going to fall off. How would you feel? Scared, right? In this type of situation the fear of failure can be overwhelming.

Two of our greatest fears are the fear of success and the fear of failure. Both of these will stop us from achieving goals and successful goal achievement. living in fear is no fun and it won't get you anywhere so it is important that you don't let fear stop you. Take charge of the fear of the unknown and start overcoming fear to gain freedom from fear. Click through for how to overcome fear, goal motivation and how to accomplish goals

I have been in pretty much this exact situation twenty-six times in my life and have felt terrified every single time bar one. I felt like I needed to run away, far far away! So why didn’t I run?

In my mind, fear means you care. If what you’re aiming to do doesn’t scare you in the slightest, you need a new goal.

I went into one international race without a smidgen of fear running through my head or body. Two hours after this race, I decided to retire from a 13-year swimming career!

Fear of failure can stop you. Fear can make you give up on your dreams. But, if you use it correctly, it can show you the way.

Work out what you fear:

Take some deep breaths and ask yourself when your fear of failure developed. Do you really believe you cannot do it? Do you not trust yourself?

Are you basing your fear on the past (if so, number 8 will help you)? Are you worrying about what other people will say (ahem, number 9).
Do you not know enough? How can you fix this?

Thinking these things through will help.

Remind yourself of exactly what you’re doing it for:

The fear of failure tends to rear it’s head when you have a goal and/or something you want to achieve. If you have set/decided on this goal, it absolutely has to be important to you.

The more you focus on your goal, the easier it is to remember why you set it and why it is important to you.

The more you recognise the importance of your goal, the more likely it is that your fear will start to fade. After all, would you rather achieve something awesome, or be beaten by a feeling that only appears when you allow it too?

Use positive self-talk to ease the fear of failure:

Self-talk is that voice you hear inside your head: kind of like your very own live commentary. The trouble is that most of what we tell ourselves are negative and unhelpful. It is my opinion that it is our self-talk that creates and builds up our fears. Especially when it comes to the fear of failure.

If you can consciously change your self-talk to make it positive, you’ll probably find that life is easier to negotiate and you’ll “level-up” your confidence.

Two of our greatest fears are the fear of success and the fear of failure. Both of these will stop us from achieving goals and successful goal achievement. living in fear is no fun and it won't get you anywhere so it is important that you don't let fear stop you. Take charge of the fear of the unknown and start overcoming fear to gain freedom from fear. Click through for how to overcome fear, goal motivation and how to accomplish goals

If you’re interested in finding out more about self-talk and how to talk to yourself in new ways, I highly recommend What to Say When You Talk to Your Self by Shad Helmsetter. This book will teach you about the wiring of the brain while giving you lots of methods and techniques to put what he says into practice. An oldie but a goodie.

Baby break it down (ala the Rolling Stones):

I’ve said this many times already in other posts, and I have no doubt I’ll talk about it again.

You must break your goals down.

If you want to start a new business and you think of it as ONE thing, you will be terrified.

If you are aiming to write a 100,000-word novel and you think of the 100,000 words as one task, you’re gonna wanna run away!

Those two example tasks are kinda huge goals, and they are impossibly scary if you don’t break them down into smaller tasks. The smaller the tasks, the better. This way the target will feel much easier as you’re ticking off tasks constantly.

Picture a world where no one EVER failed:

I’m just going to let that sink in for a second.

In fact, I’m not even going to explain this one. Instead, allow me to list ten highly successful people who have failures to their names:

  1. J.K Rowling - Harry Potter
  2. Lisa Kudrow - Friends star
  3. Michael Phelps - 23 (I wish!) Olympic Golds
  4. Steven Spielberg - 27 award-winning movies
  5. Oprah Winfrey - Billionaire Talk Show Host
  6. Walt Disney - Yes, really. Disney!
  7. Stephen King - Scary novelist extraordinaire
  8. Sir James Dyson - Henry Hoover has nothing on this guy
  9. Bill Gates - The Windows Guy (I’m not a fan of Windows, but I can appreciate!)
  10. Thomas Edison - How many attempts does it take to invent the lightbulb? 1000!

Visualise success to deal with a fear of failure:

Going back to sports for a minute: have you ever watched athletes or swimmers lining up for a race and noticed some of them seem to be staring at nothing? Have you also noticed that the same ones look up one last time before they are under starters orders (the guy with the guy)? Husain Bolt did this every single time he raced.

These athletes are not staring at nothing. They are looking at the finish line and visualising every aspect of they race they are about to run. They are envisioning themselves running their best possible race and succeeding.

I did this. I also did it in training. If I was having a really tough training session, I would visualise myself winning gold. Guess what? Training got easier! Boom!

Two of our greatest fears are the fear of success and the fear of failure. Both of these will stop us from achieving goals and successful goal achievement. living in fear is no fun and it won't get you anywhere so it is important that you don't let fear stop you. Take charge of the fear of the unknown and start overcoming fear to gain freedom from fear. Click through for how to overcome fear, goal motivation and how to accomplish goals
GAIA.com There's More To you Than You Think

Celebrate milestones:

I have two twitter accounts (well, four. But who’s counting?). Today I hit 8400 followers on one and 1000 followers on the other. To some, these numbers might be huge. To others, these numbers might be pathetic. It doesn’t matter to me what others think because to me these numbers are just right.

I have been working hard on building up my presence on Twitter. So, for me, hitting these milestones is excellent and worth doing a little jig about.

In fact, every day, ​I celebrate my achievements regarding what I’m working on, and I write them down. I don’t crack open the champagne. In terms of Twitter, for example, I’d need a ton more followers to justify the champagne. But the very act of saying to myself, “look what I did”, makes me feel great.

Not enough people celebrate the small stuff. By not doing so, they block the ability to recognise all the great things they’re doing, and it slips by unnoticed. As a result, it is so common for people to feel like they’re not accomplishing anything.

Small stuff turns into big stuff.

Think about what you’re learning:

The absolute best thing about failing or getting things wrong is the lessons you learn as it is happening. I class myself as a successful failure; I’m pretty sure anyone who has discovered the importance of failure would say the same. In fact, I wrote a post not long ago about my two most recent failures. At the time, I was utterly distraught. But when I took a step back, I recognised that I didn’t want what I had been going for anyway, and now I had time to focus on what I truly wanted. Successful failure!

Of course, I should note that it is up to you to decide what success and failure actually mean for you. Whatever they mean, when you feel like things are not going well, focus a bit of time on these questions:

1. What lessons can I take away from this situation?
2. If I tried again, what do I now know to do differently?
3. This hasn’t worked out quite the way I wanted, but three things I did well are...

Use the ultimate question: According to who?

This is a big one for me, so big that it’s a foundation for one of the books I’m trying to write.

Many people base their actions on what they believe other people think or would like, rather than what they want. The truth is, they might not even realise that this is how they are living. To many of us, it comes naturally to look around at what others are saying/doing before acting accordingly.

The problem? By living in this way, our goals are based on the expectations of others, and if things don’t go right we fear others will judge our failures! Of course, this leads to a vicious cycle. Goals based on others’ expectations - fear of judgement - increased fear of failure - give up - feel like we ought to do something.

A significant indication that this could be a trap you’ve fallen into is the use of the word “should”. How often are you saying you should do something?

  • I really should take this course
  • Wow, I should do XYZ
  • I should try a new outfit

What’s wrong with should? Well, should tends to mean that the opinion doesn’t actually belong to you at all. Instead, you’ve taken ‘data’ from those around you and turned this into what this data suggests you ought to be doing. The shoulds you’re using don’t necessarily belong to you at all.

Next time you use the word “should” simply ask the question: according to who?

Is it according to you? Great, turn it into a must. If it’s not according to you, you need to work out if it is something you genuinely want to do. If it is, turn it into a must.

Two of our greatest fears are the fear of success and the fear of failure. Both of these will stop us from achieving goals and successful goal achievement. living in fear is no fun and it won't get you anywhere so it is important that you don't let fear stop you. Take charge of the fear of the unknown and start overcoming fear to gain freedom from fear. Click through for how to overcome fear, goal motivation and how to accomplish goals

Use the second ultimate question: Compared to who?

This one takes us back to the self-talk issue. As I said, much of our self-talk is negative and, I think, if we could actually playback our self-talk we’d probably be quite shocked. I’ll keep this one short and simple.

Much of what we tell ourselves often revolves believing we’re not good enough, which adds a lot of fuel to the fear of failure. Now, it is essential to question these beliefs to get to the other side. So, next time you tell yourself you’re not good enough (or anything similar), simply ask:
Compared to who?

Two types of answer will probably come up. First, you might come up with a long list of people: are these people trying to do exactly what you are with precisely the same knowledge and experiences as you? No? You cannot compare yourself to them in that case.

The second possible answer is no-one, or your mind goes blank. Need I say more?

Comparing yourself to others is a pointless exercise that will only serve increase your fear of failure and stop you from achieving your goals.

Stay in the present:

I would guess that the most significant cause of a fear of failure is because we automatically compare current situations to past situations. This is not our fault, it is the way our brains are wired. Although it is possible to change the wiring of our brains: will someone remind me to do a blog series on this? Ta.

It’s a bit like learning from mistakes, which I talked about earlier. The past is gone, the only way past mistakes can serve you is to make you wiser. We are often smarter than we think we are, it is just about how we use this wisdom. Setting yourself goals is essential. Basing those goals in the present is even more critical.

One day, I want to retake my GCSE maths exams. When I decide to do this, it will be vital for me to not to compare the possible outcome with the outcome I had 15 years ago. I can use the lessons I learnt in the past, such as the need to actually revise. However, there would be no point me going ahead with it if all I thought was, “well, I’ve tried this before, and I failed. So, the chances are, I’ll fail again”.

Don’t let your past dictate the future. Or the present.

Two of our greatest fears are the fear of success and the fear of failure. Both of these will stop us from achieving goals and successful goal achievement. living in fear is no fun and it won't get you anywhere so it is important that you don't let fear stop you. Take charge of the fear of the unknown and start overcoming fear to gain freedom from fear. Click through for how to overcome fear, goal motivation and how to accomplish goals

Regrets: The What If Vs Oh Well Battle. Who wins? YOU decide:

There are three primary possible outcomes when setting a goal. Of course, there are vast numbers of possible outcomes, but I’m going to focus on three.

1. The first one is easy: success. Achieving your goal. Don't question it just enjoy it and celebrate.

2. The What If Factor. You have a goal, and you allow the fear of failure in. At this point, thousand of what if questions will start running through your head: What if I can’t? What if I fail? What if they laugh?… and so it goes on.

There are two things to note: Firstly, the ‘what if questions’ we ask are rarely positive, so can fill us with enough dread to make us walk away.

Secondly, if we set ourselves a goal that is really important to us but we give up, these ‘what if questions will change, becoming: what if I’d tried/kept going/done xyz…? Not only will these questions change but they will hang around like a bad smell until such a time when you either try again OR you forgive yourself for walking away. And trust me, this can take a while!

Oh well, I’ve tried: this one occurs when you’ve tried to achieve your goal, but it hasn’t quite worked out the way you wanted it to. Many people will beat themselves up about being a failure at this point. However, allowing yourself to simply acknowledging you did the best you could but it wasn’t meant to be right now, will put yourself at peace. I guess it’s almost like saying, “oh well, that method didn’t quite work, what can I try next.

The first outcome will always be desirable, of course. But when you’re drilling down into your goals and the fear of failure starts to creep in, ask yourself:

Disclosure: If you purchase anything from links in this post or any other, I may receive some kind of affiliate commission. However, I only ever mention products I love and would recommend whether I was being compensated or not.

Personal Development Is Not About What You Should Do

You can find personal development tips around every corner these days. Some of these tips are amazingly useful. I’ve discovered masses of excellent personal development blog posts and articles. But there are a few words that keep cropping up that make my toes curl. 

Personal development ideas and personal development are amazingly useful and I encourage you to read all the personal development books you can. But while you do so, it is super important to focus on self awareness, self change, personal inspiration and self discovery for personal development. No one else can tell you what you want! Click through for self personal development tips, growth and development ideas. self motivation tips and professional development activities

I know I have mentioned my problem with the word ‘should’ before, and I will mention it again. I make no apologies for this. You see, it is not uncommon for us all to say things like, I should do XYZ, or this is what I should do.

But the word should tends to mean that the opinion doesn’t belong to you. Instead, you’ve taken ‘data’ from those around you and turned this into what this data suggests you ought to be doing. The shoulds you’re using don’t necessarily belong to you at all.

I have similar issues with terms like ‘you need’ and ‘you have to’. No, it’s not because I don’t like people telling me what to do. Okay, it is a little. But I don’t want to hear these terms because everyone is different. We don’t all fit in neat square boxes where specific methods of doing things suit everyone the same.

Say I was to tell you that you all needed to wear odd socks (like me!) because it would make your life easier. Some of you would think I was crazy and some would think I was on to something.

Personal development tips are not about what you should do!

There are thousands of personal development articles telling us what we should be doing. What we have to do, or what we need to do.  In fact, the blog post title that pushed me over the line suggested that I needed to change the way I journal. The blog title was something like: "5 ways you've been journaling all wrong!" Of course, this is not quite the title, but you get the idea.

Personal development ideas and personal development are amazingly useful and I encourage you to read all the personal development books you can. But while you do so, it is super important to focus on self awareness, self change, personal inspiration and self discovery for personal development. No one else can tell you what you want! Click through for self personal development tips, growth and development ideas. self motivation tips and professional development activities

I am a massive advocate of journaling to aid personal development (the website name gives it away). I’m also an advocate of guided journals (check out my amazing journals in my store right now). But would I tell anyone they needed to journal in a specific way? Nope. That defies the point of journaling.

Never develop on someone else's terms

I have been a motivational speaker for over ten years, giving advice to thousands of people. Would I insist that everyone should or has to act on my recommendations and opinions? Nope. In fact, I make a conscious effort NEVER to use the word should!

The whole point of personal development is that people find the power to break out of the square boxes. It is an opportunity for you explore who you are, what you want and discover what you must do for you.

People who offer personal development tips, are here to guide and offer suggestions. We are here to share experiences and provide tips that could help. We are not here to tell you that you're living your life all wrong. If you come across a life coach or personal development "expert" who does do this, be wary. Be very wary, my friends.

How to Change The Words You Use for personal development

My point is simple. If you’re trying to develop yourself as a person, great. The chances are you are going to try and read a lot of personal development tips. But it's all about how you use them. If you’re listening to others telling you what you should do or need to do, you’re looking to the wrong people. In fact, I would argue that you are developing on someone else’s terms!

To be clear, the goal is to use these kinds of words:

  • Must do: what you're aiming to do is something you want to do & really believe in.
  • Want to: there is always a reason it made it’s way onto your to-do list. Find that reason and declare that you want to do it.
  • Can do: Look what I can do! Is much more positive than “ugh look at the things I have to do”.

My top 10 Personal Development Tips 

Personal development ideas and personal development are amazingly useful and I encourage you to read all the personal development books you can. But while you do so, it is super important to focus on self awareness, self change, personal inspiration and self discovery for personal development. No one else can tell you what you want! Click through for self personal development tips, growth and development ideas. self motivation tips and professional development activities
  1. Be yourself. Be true to your own values, beliefs and goals. This and only this is the true key - the number one personal development tip.
  2. Speak to people you admire. Ask them for advice about any qualities they have that you would like to develop.
  3. Spend time creating and building positive habits. These habits will be the foundation to your success.
  4. Surround yourself with positive people who have similar goals to you. This will fill your life with positive energy.
  5. Tap into new wisdom and knowledge every day. Read a book. Listen to an audio. Watch a video.
  6. Always look for new and different perspectives.
  7. If you find yourself starting to lose focus, ask yourself “why?”. Once you know why, it makes it easier to improve your plans.
  8. Keep a journal to help you overcome any lingering doubts or issues you might be holding on to.
  9. Take charge and manage any difficult people you have in your life. You cannot avoid difficult people but you can learn to deal with them.
  10. Your environment impacts your mood. Create a positive, inspirational area where you spend most of your time.

Disclosure: If you purchase anything from links in this post or any other, I may receive some kind of affiliate commission. However, I only ever mention products I love and would recommend whether I was being compensated or not.

Watch What Happens When You Focus On The Positive Things You Can Do

All too often we drench our minds with negative self-talk. Telling ourselves, we’re useless, that we can’t do things, or that we can’t deal with things. It becomes second nature to doubt our ability to do something before giving it any thought whatsoever. But, do you ever focus on the positive things you can do?

Trying to be positive and focus on positive things you can do, can sometimes be a real challenge. But it can be life changing. For an amazing confidence boost, the key is to think positive thoughts about things you never thought of in a positive way. Click through for how to think positive, becoming more positive tips, positive ideas and how to be more positive. Start sending positive thoughts to yourself and spread some positive energy

I used to doubt my ability all the time. I guess I still do from time to time. After all, I am human. But I have learned what happens when you focus on the positive things you can do. It’s pretty cool.

I’ll be frank; we do not always immerse ourselves in self-love. In fact, we can be rather horrible to ourselves! Nobody criticises us as much or as harshly as we do to ourselves. Often, I hear people saying mean things to themselves - “I’m rubbish at…” “I have fat [insert body part here]” “and I hate the way I…”. Every time, I ask the person if they would say that to anyone else. Of course not! That would be so horrible! Herein lies my point.

I’m going to talk about three different types of situation when focusing on the positive things you can do make an eye-opening difference in how you live your life. Hopefully you’ll find this useful.

What happens when you focus on the positive things you can do

1. The parts of yourself you don’t like

We get so caught up in criticising ourselves and focusing on the parts of ourselves we don’t like, that we forget. We forget to practice self-love or forget to focus on what we’re good at. And we forget that the things we dislike are useful parts of us that can do amazing things.

So, I’d like you to consider this: How do all the things you dislike about yourself actually serve you?

If you took the time to sit and think this through, it will surprise you!

Let me give you some of my own examples:

  • I’ve never been all that keen on my legs, but they have been handy for the past 32 years. Thinking of all the things my legs have helped me do, it seems ridiculous to sit and criticise them.
  • I hate the fact that I have an excessively loud voice. But I’m a public speaker, so my loud voice comes in handy and means I don’t always need a microphone, which I prefer.

These are just a few examples, but I am hoping you can see my point!

Instead of putting yourself down and being mean to yourself, change it around. You might not like the way your arms look, but what if you had no arms? Don’t they serve you well? If you don’t like your voice, what if you couldn’t talk? Focus on the positive things you can do!

Trying to be positive and focus on positive things you can do, can sometimes be a real challenge. But it can be life changing. For an amazing confidence boost, the key is to think positive thoughts about things you never thought of in a positive way. Click through for how to think positive, becoming more positive tips, positive ideas and how to be more positive. Start sending positive thoughts to yourself and spread some positive energy

2. Focus on what you can do

In all my years working in schools and being a motivational speaker, I have had one key message. It is a message that I cannot stress enough:

Do not focus on what others are doing. Do not focus on what you cannot do. Focus on what you love and focus on what you are good at.

It is so essential for you to try new things and learn as much as you can. There is no point in announcing that you cannot do something if you haven’t tried. That is lazy. But if you’ve tried something and it's not your thing, move on.

Never, ever beat yourself up for the things you cannot do. But don’t keep reminding yourself. You’re using valuable energy that could better spent on things you’re freaking awesome at.

Again, allow me to offer you two of my own examples:

  • It is a well-known fact that I’m pretty rubbish at maths and numbers - they are just not my thing. But I am good with words, so my focus goes on that. Also, I can use a calculator, I can use Excel, and I’m good at asking for help. So if I need to work with numbers, I do okay.
  • I like wearing makeup, but if I tried doing my mascara the way other people do it I would look utterly ridiculous. So, technically, I can’t do mascara. But after years of practice, I’ve found a unique way of doing it, which means I can.

If you say you can’t do maths, focus on the positive things you can do

3. It is so big you can’t deal with it.

There will be occasions where things feel SO big that you feel like you can’t deal with it. I’m talking about a massive project that causes overwhelm. Or, maybe, something in your personal life that has pretty significant consequences. I get it; it can feel like you’re drowning and there is nothing you can do.

First of all, you need to remember you won’t be able to do everything at the same time. No one can. Few projects can be done in one go, and significant problems can rarely be solved immediately.

Take a step back. When you’re in the middle of something, it can literally feel like you’re surrounded by things that need your attention. If you can remove yourself from the situation, do it. Go for a walk, go for a coffee, do anything you can to get a change of scene. Even for a few minutes.

Now, consider the situation you’re in. Write every aspect of it down, if you can, and ask yourself one straightforward question:

What is the one thing I CAN do to deal with this situation?

You only need to be able to do one thing at a time. One thing turns into two, and so on. Before you know it, the project is done, or at least it is far less overwhelming.

And that, my friends, is the magic of learning to focus on the positive things you CAN do!

Is Worrying Too Much Sapping your Time and Energy?

Are you worrying too much? There are many people out there who would tell you that you ought to never worry about anything. However, I do not necessarily agree with this. In my mind, a little bit of worry shows we care about what’s going on. It also makes us less likely to become indifferent to what lies ahead. But worrying could definitely be slowing you down.

Disclosure: If you purchase anything from links in this post or any other, I may receive some kind of affiliate commission. However, I only ever mention products I love and would recommend whether I was being compensated or not.

People may irritate you by telling you to do not worry. But worrying too much generally slows you down and hits your productivity hard. Also, worrying means you suffer twice. Learning how to worry less and to stop negative thoughts is a huge part of self discovery personal development, self mastery and feeling happiness about life

It is likely that worrying too much will sap your time and energy. Worry makes it very difficult to focus on the present. Spending all your time contemplating the “what ifs” of life could well be slowing you down.

What is worry?

Our minds love fact. Our brains work best when the outcomes are based on fact and certainty. In other words, we thrive on knowing what’s around the corner. When we have fact, we can plan and execute. But, as we know, life is not always that straightforward. Uncertainty is around every corner, and with it comes worry.

Our minds are naturally inclined to focus on negatives before the positive outcomes. Even though there may be loads of possible outcomes, people tend to focus on the negative rather than positive. How exhausting!

Say you’re starting a new business. You have everything planned out, but you need to make money to pay the bills. You begin to fear that the money won’t come, which would throw your planning out of sync. Fair enough. But, what you don’t realise is that if worry too much you give to your fears, the more anxious you become. Before you know it, worries have taken over your mind and your ability to focus is compromised.

So, the worry is a result of the unknown and the fear it naturally brings us. Yes, I said naturally. As I said, our brains don’t like the unknown. Think of it in terms of the Flight or Flight instincts we have.

Our fears turn into worry because they are undeveloped fears (what could/might happen). Rather than specific threats (what will happen). Many of us end up neither flighting or fighting, stuck in worrying limbo land!

I know what you’re thinking! How can it be natural if some people worry way more than others? This is because, although our brains hold a lot of power, it is possible to retrain our brains. So, we take back a bit of that power. Boom!

Worrying too much will sap your time and energy!

People may irritate you by telling you to do not worry. But worrying too much generally slows you down and hits your productivity hard. Also, worrying means you suffer twice. Learning how to worry less and to stop negative thoughts is a huge part of self discovery personal development, self mastery and feeling happiness about life

We all worry from time to time; it is something we all experience. But it must not be confused with thinking things through. Thinking leads us towards taking action, whereas worry does not. The only thing worrying leads us towards is exhaustion. Which means we have less energy and need to spend more time recouping. Like I say, worrying too much will sap your time and energy.

When a worry enters your head, it is likely to stick around for quite some time.

Worry is a little like a  pesky mosquito. You can hear it, you can feel it, but you can’t see it or shake it off! And the more you try to listen out for it, to try and find it, the more annoyed you become. In the end, after going round in circles for a while, it has bugged you for so long that you can’t think of anything else.

In his book, Stop Worrying, Ad Kerkhof describes worrying too much as 'a form of self-torture'. He points out that ‘our thoughts often make us suffer a great deal’.

Kerkhof’s book is stocked with methods and tips for retraining your brain to keep the worrying to a minimum. The exercises he suggests are based on a combination of cognitive therapy and mindful techniques, which are well worth a read.

I have a list of my own ideas and exercises for minimising worry in your everyday life. I will post these very soon. For now, though, I want to leave you with something to consider (not worry about!).

Otten people spend hours worrying too much about possible future events that scare them. These events may or may not happen. Already this sounds like a massive amount of mental energy, right?

On top of these scary events that may not happen, people worry that they may not be able to cope if they do occur. But, I promise you this, when life throws rubbish at you, you will be able to cope. You always have, and you always will.

Think about that for a while.

Disclosure: If you purchase anything from links in this post or any other, I may receive some kind of affiliate commission. However, I only ever mention products I love and would recommend whether I was being compensated or not.

Is Trying to be a Perfectionist Sapping Your Time And Energy?

There is a bit of a running joke that follows me around: “Fran is a perfectionist”. Alas, this is true. Guilty as charged! Or I was. However, I have recently realised that the whole trying to be a perfectionist thing is a serious sap on time and energy.

Trying to be a perfectionist causes overthinking, procrastination and being insecure. In fact, although perfectionism sounds satisfying and like a great thing to aim for, one of the biggest perfectionist problems is that it kills productivity and focus. There are no perfect things, there is no perfect life and you do not need to prove yourself to be perfect. It is okay to aim for perfectly imperfect. Click through for tips on how to not overthink and be more productive

Being a perfectionist has its uses. When I swam for Great Britain, I was rarely happy unless I got a personal best. There is a cringe-worthy interview somewhere with me arguing with the interviewer about how good my time was. It was one of the worst times I had done in a long time. I was furious with myself. I remember the interviewer being perplexed about my annoyance because I had won a Paralympic Silver medal.

In my defence, I was in a lot of pain, and several things were going wrong that were out of my control. Now, however, that medal is my most treasured possession (other than my engagement and wedding rings, of course).

It has to be perfect!

Being a perfectionist also helped me out during my degrees. If you have read my about page, you’ll know that I went to university as a complete underdog. I wanted to prove my intelligence. So, I vowed to myself that I would do everything in my power to get the best grades possible.

I treated every assignment as if it was the most important thing (apart from swimming). I refused to print it out until I felt sure that everything was as perfect as possible! Lord help me if the grade I got was any lower than a B! I’ll be honest; I do wonder how much time and energy I wasted trying to get everything perfect. Yes, at University (and in life), you have to work hard to get the best results, which I did! 

Trying to be a perfectionist causes overthinking, procrastination and being insecure. In fact, although perfectionism sounds satisfying and like a great thing to aim for, one of the biggest perfectionist problems is that it kills productivity and focus. There are no perfect things, there is no perfect life and you do not need to prove yourself to be perfect. It is okay to aim for perfectly imperfect. Click through for tips on how to not overthink and be more productive

But I can pretty much guarantee that not one of my lecturers noticed that every single one of my assignments used the same font, my quotes were always in italics and indented at 1.7 inches on both sides, or that I never wrote a page without using three or more references! I also bet they didn’t notice my colour schemes, either. I know that last one for sure because I only had a black and white printer!!

Back then, I didn’t feel like I was wasting my time, at all. But does there come a point when trying to be a perfectionist starts to be a waste of energy?

Trying to be a perfectionist uses up valuable time and energy!

Trying to be a perfectionist absolutely slows you down. There comes a point when you have to stop and be happy with good enough.

I have realised this recently. I’ll give you another example from my life.

I wrote my 30-Days to Confidence Guided Journal in a single weekend last August. Everyone I showed it to loved it and kept asking if they could buy a copy. Excellent, I had produced a product, from scratch, in no time! But I wasn’t happy.

I put the journal away for ages. I played with it from time to time, but in my mind, it was far from perfect, so it wasn’t going anywhere. In November, I changed the layout twice in about four days. Excessive? Yes!

Thankfully, in December, I changed it for the last time. I was finally happy and launched it in January of this year!

If I look at the physical journal, I will spot the tiniest errors here and there. But I am now 99% sure that no-one else would notice (don’t go looking now!).

My point is this: it took me five months to launch a product that was already good enough. People told me that, as soon as I finished, they wanted a copy. I effectively wasted five months of time and energy trying to make it perfect. I could have spent that time producing other products and working on other projects.

Your goal need not be perfect. Perfection doesn’t exist.

In all honesty, no matter how perfect you think something is, somebody, somewhere, will hate it.

I have changed the style of my blog images twice in the last four months. Not because I’m indecisive (I am, but that’s not why) but because I’ve been looking for something I’m comfortable with.

I’m comfortable now. Hands up if you hate them! You do? That’s okay. I’m not perfect, and neither are my blog images.

Trying to be a perfectionist causes overthinking, procrastination and being insecure. In fact, although perfectionism sounds satisfying and like a great thing to aim for, one of the biggest perfectionist problems is that it kills productivity and focus. There are no perfect things, there is no perfect life and you do not need to prove yourself to be perfect. It is okay to aim for perfectly imperfect. Click through for tips on how to not overthink and be more productive

Your goal ought to be to get started, finish and then take action. You won’t know how good you, or your projects, are until you finish. We can keep editing all day long, but if we edit too much, it becomes something different altogether. Then, trust me when I say, you’ll be peed off because what you end up with won’t be what you wanted. Not only that but you’ll be exhausted.

Nothing will ever be perfect. Take the people who work at Apple for example. If my 2013 MacBook Air were perfect, a lot of people would be out of a job. It is not perfect, which is why there have been about 200 upgrades since I bought mine. Apple never strives for perfection. They strive for better than before.

Once you’re finished a project, you can always revisit it at a later. You can spend a little energy upgrading it to be better than before. But this is not possible if perfection is the goal. Allow yourself to be good enough! You’ll save heaps of energy, and you’ll get a lot more done!

Remember: if you’re printing in black and white, no-one will care that you’ve used coolor.co to pick out the perfect colour scheme. That's just taking the whole trying to be a perfectionist thing to extremes!

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